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Local Hardware Store: “Just Google It”

December 28, 2012 by bobbycalise

In between my last-minute Christmas shopping this past weekend, I found myself at a local Long Island hardware store. I had broken the pull chain that turns the light on my mom’s ceiling fan on and off, and I thought I would attempt to fix it myself rather than choosing my usual solution to household repairs: calling someone else to do it.

The first stop was the local hardware shop. It seemed busier than normal, but not unbearable. My mom and I found the electrical aisle and selected the closest (but not exact) match to the part we were trying to replace, then sought someone who worked there to walk us through the repair.

I flagged down one associate, who told me she would go get “Jim” to help us. But no one came. We then tracked down a teenaged employee who tried to be helpful but didn’t know too much about electrical work. (“Plumbing is more my thing,” he said.) Sensing our frustration at his lack of knowledge on the subject, he went to get his manager. He came back a few minutes later, without his manager, and told us that the part he was selling us “should work,” according to the manager, who hadn’t bothered to speak to us himself. When I asked how we were supposed to install the part if we didn’t–and he didn’t–know about electrical work, he said, “I could Google it for you.” “Well,” I replied, “I could Google it, too.” My mom and I decided that the small business experiment was over and we walked out empty-handed.

Ten minutes later we were standing in Lowe’s, where we spoke to an associate who showed us where to find the exact match for our missing part. When we asked about how to install it, she referred us to a more senior employee, John. John explained exactly what needed to be done and even sent us off with a half roll of electrical tape, on the house. He seemed less interested in selling us this $7 replacement part and “up selling” us on tape than he did on actually helping us with the repair.

Once we got home, I was able to fix the pull chain within 15 minutes and get the light working again. I was proud of myself–a lifelong renter–for not needing to call someone else to do a simple job like this. But I was also still irked about our experience at the local hardware store. Didn’t they know that they effectively lost a customer today by not putting us in touch with a manager for five minutes to talk out our repair? The heart of small business is the personal attention you can get there that you typically can’t find at a larger chain. Once they lose that advantage, why would I ever go back?

I also couldn’t help but think a lot about what will happen as handymen like John are replaced by teenagers who don’t know much except how to Google things. Sure, Google is a one-stop shop for information about literally anything, but I think developing an expertise is important, too. Are we better off with energetic novices who are willing to scour the internet to find an answer online, or experts like John who are experienced enough to simply know the answers?

Posted in Customer Experience & Reviews, Small Business | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

“I Am Adam’s Lanza’s Mother” and the Inevitable Internet Backlash

December 19, 2012 by bobbycalise

On the internet, there’s always a backlash.

In early November New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg declared, just a few days after Hurricane Sandy ravaged New York and New Jersey, that the New York City Marathon would still take place. The backlash to this decision, personified in the comments section of an online New York Times article, was so severe that a few days later Bloomberg went back on his word and canceled the event.

In the wake of the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, Bloomberg was in the news again, urging President Obama to take action on gun control, telling us that conversation alone won’t help curb the national epidemic of gun violence–we need action. (Arianna Huffington expressed similar sentiments.)

And of course we hope our politicians will take swift action to rewrite our gun control laws and reexamine the way we treat mental illness in this country.  Meanwhile for the rest of us, the conversation continues–especially online.

On Monday I came across the now-famous “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” blog post by Liza Long, a mother who documented her own struggles with her mentally ill 13-year-old son named “Michael” (not his real name).

Long was lauded by many for her bravery in telling her story, as an overwhelmed and “terrified” mother of child she believes is dangerous enough to be compared to Lanza, Dylan Kleibold, and their ilk. (I won’t retell her story, but I recommend you read it for yourself at the link above.)

And then came the backlash.

Just a day later I came across an Adam Lanza article on Slate.com in which Long is criticized for being an “imposter.” The author of that piece, Hanna Rosin, implies that it is Long herself, not her son “Michael,” who  may be suffering from mental illness. Using another blogger’s research, she points to examples from some of Long’s other writings where she appears frazzled, frustrated, and overly dramatic about her home situation with “Michael.” And she criticizes Long’s willingness to out her son with only a thin veil of anonymity, a fake first name. Further, she compares Long’s described situation to those parents featured in a May 2012 New York Times article, “Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?” and concludes that Long’s  “Michael” is not nearly as bad as those children.

Without being in Long’s household on a daily basis, it’s impossible to know whether she’s giving us an accurate representation of what goes on with “Michael,” and if the situation is really as dire as she makes it sound. As a non-parent, I can barely comprehend what it feels like to deal with an ugly tantrum in a grocery store, no less a son who grabs a knife and threatens to kill his mother and himself.

We certainly can see why Slate for running their backlash story, which I’m sure has brought a lot of traffic to their site as it piggybacks Long’s original post. Once again the conversation continues in the comments section, where some readers have defended Long, while others agree with Rosin.

But is this a case where the backlash is ultimately harmful to progress? We can poke holes in Long’s story all day long, or point to her earlier writings and label her as a fraud, a mentally ill person, a bad mother. However in doing this, many are now dismissing her message outright–which is that she worries that her son, one day, may be capable of committing mass murder on the scale of Sandy Hook, Columbine, or Virginia Tech.

Maybe she’s right; we hope she’s wrong. But is tearing her down truly the best way to make use of her story? Even if we believe Long’s account is a “false alarm,” are we in a position as a country to take that chance? And perhaps the scariest question of all: would we have dismissed a blog post by the real Adam Lanza’s mother just as quickly?

Posted in Personal Essays | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments »

5 Beers That Belong on Your Table This Holiday Season

November 15, 2012 by bobbycalise

By Henry Joseph
Contributing Writer

Editor’s Note: Henry Joseph is The 250 Square Foot View’s resident beer expert. We interviewed him this time last year about The Pony Bar, where he bartends, and talked about the state of the American craft beer industry. Henry knows more than a little bit about beer–he’s a Certified Cicerone. And with Thanksgiving just a week away, we welcome Henry back to the blog to share his suggestions for the best beers to bring to the dinner table this holiday season.

1. Peach Berliner Weiss
Brewery: Perennial (St. Louis, MO)
Alcohol by Volume (ABV): 4.1%
Description: This tart German-style wheat beer is brewed with 750 pounds of Missouri and southern Illinois peaches.

We’ve been seeing a lot of Berliner Weisses this year and this is one of my favorites. The peach plays wonderfully with the bracing tartness. It’s a great aperitif that pairs well with first courses like salads and would be a true delight next to some fresh shellfish, preferably raw. Soft goat cheese would be great as well. This selection’s a little esoteric and not for everyone, but can be a real treat for people who don’t think they like beer. In any case, a great conversation starter.

2. Duvel Rustica
Brewery: Ommegang (Cooperstown, NY)
ABV: 8.5%
Description: Ommegang’s take on the quintessential Belgian Golden Ale; fruity and malty, dry with a hint of sweetness, and utterly drinkable.

I like to think of Duvel as the Platonic ideal of beer. It’s got everything: malt, hops, Belgian yeastiness with a hint of spice, sweet, but dry, and this version brewed by Ommegang is no different. As far as food, this beer pairs well with everything. Literally. And everyone from the well-informed to the inexperienced will love it. If you take anything away from this, it should be that Duvel is always a good idea.

3. Domaine DuPage
Brewery: Two Brothers (Warrenville, IL)
ABV: 5.9%
Description: This French-style country ale is deep amber in color. With a toasty, sweet caramel start, it finishes with just enough hops to clean off the palate.

When you think of France, beer doesn’t usually come to mind, but this oft-neglected style of ale is an excellent companion to all your traditional holiday meals.  The earthy, malty notes are an especially nice match with turkey and stuffing. Plus, these guys just picked up a bronze medal at the Great American Beer Festival for this offering.

4. Old Chub Scotch Ale
Brewery: Oskar Blues (Lyons, CO)
ABV: 8.0%
Description: This jaw-dropping Scottish strong ale features semi-sweet flavors of cocoa and coffee, and a kiss of smoke that will entice even those who think they don’t like dark beer.

We’re getting into some serious stuff here. This guy is all about the MALT and all the wonderful flavors it can bring you. Molasses, caramel, chocolate, with a hint of coffee and smoke. These flavors pair up nicely with similarly heavier foods–meat to be specific, but you’d be surprised how well it matches up with some grilled or roasted vegetables. Especially asparagus. As an added bonus, it makes a GREAT reduction liquid.

5. Black Chocolate Stout
Brewery: Brooklyn Brewery (Brooklyn, NY)
ABV: 10.0%
Description: An award-winning rendition of the Imperial Stout style, once made exclusively for Catherine the Great. A blend of specially roasted malts bring a luscious deep dark chocolate flavor.

RICH is the word here. Roasty would be another. And chocolate, of course. Coffee, too. A bit of warming alcohol, but this beer WILL sneak up on you as its smoothness belies its strength. It’d be right at home next to a slice of pumpkin pie, or cheesecake if you’re feeling fancy. Or, heck, just drink it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Pour the beer right into the bowl. I dare you. I never get tired of this beer, and neither will you.

Posted in Beer, Wine & Spirits, Guest Blogger | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Is My Favorite Musician A Jerk?

November 8, 2012 by bobbycalise

The following post is based on an email I got from my good friend and fellow Death Cab For Cutie fan, Nikki (she’s appeared previously on the blog, in my “Pearl Harbor” post). I’ve blogged about Death Cab before, including a review of the first time I saw them live (which was awesome) and the second time (which got awkward). Nikki recently saw Death Cab’s frontman, Ben Gibbard, perform a solo show in Boston. This is her account of that night.

The concert itself was pretty awesome–it was in an old movie theater in my neighborhood. He performed a full set all solo and all acoustic–just him and a guitar and a piano. He played a mix of the new solo stuff and DCFC and Postal Service songs. His second song was “Such Great Heights” and at that point I could only think about how stupid Zooey Deschanel is.

Ben Gibbard doing his thing. (Photo Credit: Nikki Donovan.)

So, the show ended and [my fiancé] John suggested we see if we can get his autograph because it was such a small venue and he seemed like a nice guy who enjoys these smaller shows. We walked around the back of the building and his tour bus was sitting there, so we decided to hang out a bit to see if he’d appear. Within a few minutes, about 15-20 people with Sharpies and tickets and posters gathered around with us. The guy manning the back door to the theater told us that Ben walked off the stage and booked it to his tour bus.  Not giving up hope yet, we all hung around as we saw people going in and out of the tour bus (yes, with cases of O’Doul’s and Gatorade).

Without realizing it, about an hour had passed. The bus was still there idling even after the two equipment trucks drove off and everyone still kept thinking “Ben seems like such a nice guy, if he sees us standing here he’ll totally come out.” Around the hour mark people started walking away slowly, constantly looking back to see if he’d appear (two girls even came back for a drive by 20 minutes after they left).  When we left about an hour and 45 minutes after the show ended there were only four people left (interestingly enough three of the four were dudes) still holding out hope that Ben would not disappoint.  He comes off as such a nice guy–it’s hard for any of us standing out there to think he would purposely ignore us.

Not cool, Ben. Not cool. (Photo Credit: John DeMelo.)

 So here’s what has been going through my mind:

  • Should I be upset/disappointed in Ben Gibbard for not meeting fans and signing autographs? Should I let it ruin an otherwise awesome show? If he is actually a douche, should it change my decision about going to future shows or calling DCFC one of my favorite bands?
  • When I realized my feet were going numb from the cold I turned to John and told him all I hear in my head is Sonny from A Bronx Tale talking about Mickey Mantle.
  • As annoying as it was, we did have fun joking around with the other fans and didn’t realize how much time had actually passed.  It was especially funny talking to all the guys standing out there by themselves waiting for a bromance to blossom.
  • Wouldn’t it be funny to find out he was never in the bus but actually at one of the bars down the street?

Anyway…just a lot of reflection on expectations of celebrities. There are many celebrities I would never expect to engage fans and be fine with that but for some reason I thought Ben Gibbard would.  Just before we walked away John made one last attempt to get his attention by tweeting him to come out and stop making us wait in the cold which was accompanied by a picture of me outside the bus giving a thumbs down and pouting.  Too much?  Ben did not acknowledge the tweet…

And yes, we acknowledge that waiting outside the tour bus was slightly stalker-ish.

Posted in Guest Blogger | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments »

Scenes From an Upper East Side Video Store

October 29, 2012 by bobbycalise

Remember video stores? When Independence Day became available, we flocked to Blockbuster or our local video store to score a VHS copy before it ran out? Otherwise we were at the mercy of previous renters to bring it back on time.

Of course Netflix destroyed that model, making it so easy to get our favorite movies and TV shows on DVD that brick-and-mortar video stores became an anachronism by the mid-2000s.

But today, getting the last breaths of fresh air before Hurricane Sandy descends upon Manhattan, my fiancée and I had occasion to check out an independent video store on Third Avenue in the upper-70s. This strategy, we hoped, would be like asking out the prettiest girl in school because we knew none of the other guys were too intimidated to; if everyone else dismissed the idea of stopping in at a local video store, surely their shelves would be ripe for the pickin’.

Below are some the real conversations we witnessed in our five minutes inside the store. Enjoy.

Customer #1: Do you have the second disc for this movie?
Video Store Clerk #1: There is no second disc.
Customer #1: The website says there is a second disc. Why won’t you just check the system to see if there is a second disc?
Clerk #1: The website probably meant the VHS.
[At this point, both are becoming increasingly aggravated, each believing the other is a moron.]
Customer #1: Can you just check?
[Clerk “checks” the computer, but is more likely just live tweeting the interaction.]
Clerk #1: No, we don’t have the second disc.
[Customer turns around leaves angrily.]

—

Customer #2: So are these movies for sale, or just to rent?
Clerk #2: Pretty much just to rent.
Customer #2: So how do I know which ones are in stock?
Clerk #2: I know. You have to ask me.
Customer #2: No, like how does the customer know just from looking at the shelves?
Clerk #2: They don’t.
Customer #2: Oh…OK. [Walks away.]

—

Customer #3: Do you have any of the Lethal Weapon movies?
Clerk #1: Yes, I believe so.
Customer #3: Which one should I get?
Clerk #1: Uh, #4 is pretty good. You don’t really need to see the ones that came before to follow the plot.
Customer #3: Hmm…OK. I’ll take #2 and #3.

—

Me: [Hands the empty box for the TV series Revenge to the clerk.] Hey, do you have these in stock?
Clerk #2: I’ll check. [Checks a huge wooden box of discs.] Uh, we only have discs 3, 4 and 5.
Me: Um…OK. Do you have this one? [Hands him the empty box for the movie Ruby Sparks.]
Clerk #2: No, I just rented that out earlier.
Me: OK…thanks. [Leaves.]

Check back in next week when we visit a post office.

Posted in Customer Experience & Reviews, Small Business | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

Sports, Like Any Good Story, Is Character-Driven

October 25, 2012 by bobbycalise

Have you ever stuck with a TV show long after it jumped the shark?

Most of us have done this at some point in our lives–we invest so much time and emotional capital in a show that no matter how much it frustrates us from week to week, we can’t bring ourselves to give up on it until it eventually, mercifully, it goes off the air.

For me, that show was Lost.

Lost aired from 2005 to 2010 and was set in the aftermath of a plane crash that left its surviving passengers–nearly all of them with movie star looks–on a desert island. The show was designed to manipulate viewers’ perceptions as we struggled each week to figure out what was going on. Was the island actually a metaphor for purgatory? Are The Others good or bad? And what the hell is with that black smoke monster???

The black smoke monster just kinda hangin’ out.

As the plot confused us more and more each week–driving viewers like me to seek out any crazy theory the internet could come up with–Lost‘s only saving grace, perhaps, was its character development. The show’s format in the first few seasons focused on one main character each week, jumping back and forth between the their lives on the island (post-crash) and off the island (pre-crash).

My favorite character was Sawyer, the good-looking conman with the southern drawl who called everyone only by sarcastic nicknames. I was always pumped when I found out next week’s episode was “a Sawyer.”

But as the writers dug themselves deeper into a hole and it became obvious that many of the questions posed in season 1 through 5 weren’t going to get answered during season 6, the final season, my interest in the show began to wane. Yet I couldn’t make myself walk away. When the finale aired on May 23, 2010, I wasn’t exactly satisfied. Really, I was just relieved.

I found myself watching a rerun of Lost two Mondays ago on G4, an off-day during the Yankees-Tigers playoff series. (I recommend every fan of the show try this at least once–watching the show completely out of context is trippy.)

At that point the Yankees were in the midst of their own crash. Their sputtering offense could hardly manage to score any runs and their shortstop/team captain/my favorite player, Derek Jeter, broke his ankle late in Game 1 and was sidelined for the remainder of the playoffs.

Back in 1996, I was the biggest Yankee fan I knew. At age 14, the Yankees were more important to me than anything. I wore Yankee gear as often as my laundry rotation would allow, except for days after the team had lost the night before–I suppose I did this so no one would call me out for wearing the colors of a team that lost occasionally. Keep in mind the Yankees hadn’t won a World Series in 18 years, so younger fans of the team hadn’t yet developed the braggadocio they have today.

This was also before the internet really exploded and we were able to know all the intimate details about the players’ personal lives. For the most part we only knew about them on the field. The team featured “characters” like the soft-spoken center fielder Bernie Williams; the hot-headed right fielder Paul O’Neill who would punish a Gatorade in the cooler after making an out; and the former rival from the Red Sox turned Yankee Wade Boggs, who was known for superstitiously eating chicken before every game. It was also Jeter’s first full season on the team. (I remember having conversations about Jeter with friends, trying to figure out his ethnic background based on his last name and his looks–he’s half white, half black–because back then there was no such thing as Googling “Derek Jeter ethnicity.”)

If you go to a game today, you’ll still see the names and numbers of those guys from the 1996 team on the backs of fans. Incidentally, I wonder how many fans will be wearing the names and numbers of guys from the 2012 team in 16 years.

But by 2011, nearly all the guys from those 90s teams had retired, leaving only the “Core Four”–Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, and Jorge Posada–the players who were drafted as young men by the Yankees and came through their farm system, then went on to win five championships with the team.

As Jeter was carried off the field, the Core Four had lost yet another member: Posada had retired after the 2011 season; Rivera suffered a season-ending injury back in May; and Pettitte, who retired after the 2010 season then unretired before the 2012 season, pitched well in this year’s playoffs but also missed a large chunk of the season to an injury.

Meanwhile Alex Rodriguez, known more commonly as A-Rod, became the character Yankee fans loved to hate, a role he was not unfamiliar with. As A-Rod continued to struggle at the plate during this most recent playoff run, it was almost comical to watch him pick up a bat in a crucial situation, only to strikeout and hear the boos from the home fans at Yankee Stadium.

I’m not prone to booing, especially a guy on one’s own team (unless he displays a lack of effort) but A-Rod brings a lot of the ill will upon himself. He has been awful in October (except for 2009, when his play carried the team to a World Series–but Yankee fans have already forgotten about that). His off-the-field behavior–a high-profile divorce followed by a series of even higher-profile relationships with celebrities–is perceived by some as a distraction. He’s an admitted steroid-user, though only in 2002 to 2004, when he wasn’t playing for the Yankees. And he makes a lot of money. Like a lot of money. The Yankees owe him $114 million over the next five seasons, making it unlikely he’ll play for any other team other than the Yankees until after he turns 42, because no other team is crazy enough to take on that contract.

A guy like that is just more fun to root against than for.

Perhaps A-Rod simply came along in the wrong era. If he had played 20 or 30 years ago when the contracts weren’t yet so big, or the media wasn’t quite so ubiquitous, he might’ve been able to fly under the radar a little more if he wanted to. But others say he’s an ego-maniac who loves the attention, even if it’s negative, which is why he still insists he wants to be a Yankee even after another dreadful post-season performance that had fans calling for his head–he reminds me of a TV show character fans hope will be killed off.

Not even going to bother captioning this one.

For contrast, Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira generally seems to be liked by Yankee fans. He’s a very good hitter, an outstanding fielder, and though he also makes a lot of money, he doesn’t get booed nearly as often as A-Rod. His personal life is so quiet–I’ve heard literally nothing about him off the field–that many fans would probably consider him the most boring Yankee on the team (maybe ever?). He’s only there, seemingly, to help move the plot along.

When Jeter became a free agent a few years back and the Yankees played hardball during contract negotiations, it seemed that there was a real possibility he wouldn’t be a Yankee for much longer. I contemplated whether I would still be a Yankee if Jeter was wearing another team’s uniform. Luckily the two sides came to terms and I didn’t  have to make that decision. But when Jeter eventually retires, I’m not sure which Yankee character’s story I’ll care about enough to follow for the next 20 years or so.

Unlike Lost, which I knew would eventually go off the air and release me from its black smokey grip, the Yankees are a show that will go on forever.

A-Rod, who’s actually a year younger than Jeter, may end up being the last man standing. Yankee fans many want to be careful about trying to run A-Rod out of town, because once the rest of the Core Four are gone, he may be the only character we have left to root for–or against.

Posted in Personal Essays | 5 Comments »

The 2012 Tri-State Tough Mudder: A Recap

October 22, 2012 by bobbycalise

I am a Tough Mudder.

That’s right. This past Saturday I completed the 2012 Tri-State Tough Mudder event at Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey.

For those not familiar with Tough Mudder, I’ll let them tell you what they’re about (from their website):

Tough Mudder events are hardcore 10-12 mile obstacle courses designed by British Special Forces to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie. As the leading company in the booming obstacle course industry, Tough Mudder has already challenged half a million inspiring participants worldwide and raised more than $3 million dollars for the Wounded Warrior Project. But Tough Mudder is more than an event, it’s a way of thinking. By running a Tough Mudder challenge, you’ll unlock a true sense of accomplishment, have a great time, and discover a camaraderie with your fellow participants that’s experienced all too rarely these days.

I got the idea to run the event from my friend Mike, who was looking for a new physical challenge beyond his normal gym routine. He recruited me and eight others, and we had our squad.

I’m running the New York City Marathon in two weeks, so my first priority was surviving the course without a major injury that might jeopardize my marathon hopes. I’m happy to report that I completed the course relatively unscathed apart from a few knee scrapes.

Tough Mudder prides itself on its badassness. Its branding is all about being a counter-culture event, more exciting and physically demanding than distance running. In fact, here are Tough Mudder’s thoughts on marathons:

Marathon running is boring. And the only thing more boring than doing a marathon is watching a marathon. Road-running may give you a healthy set of lungs, but will leave you with as much upper body strength as Keira Knightley. At Tough Mudder, we want to test your all-around mettle, not just your ability to run in a straight line, on your own, for hours on end, getting bored out of your mind. Our obstacle courses are designed by British Special Forces to test you in every way and are meant only for truly exceptional all-around people, not for people who have enough time and money to train their knees to run 26 miles.

Well, having completed my first Tough Mudder, I can say that any of my longer training runs (13+ miles) have been physically tougher. (I can neither confirm nor deny whether I have a stronger upper body than Keira Knightley.) Still, if it takes that sort of in your face rhetoric to drum up business, I can’t fault them for it–besides, it seems to be working.

Rather than taking you step-by-step through the event, here are some of my thoughts from the day:

Smells like team spirit. Tough Mudder is incredibly rah-rah, meaning it’s a lot of pump-me-up, Jock Jams kind of stuff–which I’m not a big fan of. Before we could begin the event, our emcee did a 20-minute spiel that included many a “hoo-rah.” I just wanted to start the race.

Once I got past all the hootin’ and hollerin’ and hit the course running, I realized that the spirit of the event is genuine. Anyone who needed a push, whether it was over a wall, through a tunnel, or up a muddy hill, got one. And there always seemed to be someone standing on the other side with an outstretched hand to pull you through. It was very cool to see that sort of teamwork from people who didn’t know each other.

During one of the mud hill climbs, a team of men wearing blue shirts with the Wounded Warrior logo formed a line and set up a pulley system with rope. It appeared that they were clearing space so that only they could use the rope. Several among us started to question them–it seemed against the spirit of the event that they brought a rope but were only allowing their own group to use it. However that notion quickly vanished when we realized that they were clearing space to haul a man in a wheelchair–an actual Wounded Warrior–up the hill. As we all started to realize what was happening and the crowd broke out into hearty applause.

One of many Tough Mudder walls that needed climbing. (Photo credit: Linda Germann)

Yeah, no…we get it…it’s very muddy. The majority of the obstacles involved athletics running through, being submerged in, or slipping in mud or muddy water. While I fully understand that the event is called Tough Mudder, the amount of mud on the course seemed borderline gimmicky. Nevertheless most of the obstacles were challenging. Here are my favorites:

  • Arctic Enema: The very first obstacle, it’s nothing more than a plunge into ice water. We got lucky with gorgeous weather so hypothermia wasn’t an issue, but this would have been much tougher on a cold day.
  • Funky Monkey: Monkey bars are set up over some muddy water. The bars are spaced far apart and slippery with mud. The first half of the bars inclined, and the second half declined. Despite my lack of height, I managed to get across.
  • Hangin’ Tough: Five hanging gymnastics rings are set up, you guessed it, over muddy water. I was happy to have completed this one without the entire contraption falling on me–as we waited in line for our group’s turn, we noticed repairmen fixing a few of the rings with duct tape.
  • Twinkle Toes: The goal here is to walk across a thin wooden beam, else you fall into muddy wa…you get the point. I nailed it, Gabby Douglas style.
  • Everest: The final hurdle before tasting sweet victory (and a free pint of Dos Equis), you must take a running start and run as far as you can up a half pipe, and either grab the top of the wall or catch a fellow Mudder’s outstretched hand to pull yourself over. My teammates were standing by and, with their help, I got up on the first try.

Who the hell would pay $100 to run in mud for four hours? Though most participants seemed reasonably fit, you need not be physically elite to complete the course. Tough Mudder hits you over the head about it being a teamwork event, not a race to the finish. Conquering all the course’s obstacles isn’t mandatory, but I didn’t see too many people who didn’t at least attempt an obstacle before deciding to skip it.

It was great to see so many women participating–I’d guess it was about 20% female–and all the ones I saw handled the course as well or better than their male counterparts. There was no, “Let me help you with that, sweetie” stuff either. On the Tough Mudder course, everyone is treated as an equal. (According to Tough Mudder’s site, 25% of registrants are female.)

Many people wore costumes while running the event. I don’t know if it had to do with Halloween or just because. I saw a couple of princesses, a guy in an ape mask, and four dudes wearing nothing but leopard print thongs. In hindsight, as I’m still figuring out how to de-muddify my own clothes from that day, the thong guys might have had the smartest outfit of all.

Did I mention it was muddy? (Photo credit: Linda Germann)

A few gripes. I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the few negatives of what was largely a really positive experience:

  • Wait times for baggage were very long and didn’t seem particularly organized.
  • The “showers” were literally garden hoses with no hot water and no water pressure. (In fairness, I didn’t think they’d even have showers, so I can’t complain that they at least had something to wash off the caked mud and allow me to be semi-comfortable on my way home.)
  • The parking lots were 40 minutes from the site of the event by shuttle bus, which is a long way after a four-hour race.
  • They nickel-and-dimed participants, charging $10 for parking if your car didn’t contain at least four people; and spectators were charged $20 to watch the event (or $40 if they hadn’t bought their tickets in advance).

I’ve participated in a lot of running events, many in Central Park through New York Road Runners, and save for the above points, I thought that overall, Tough Mudder, was pretty well run. Tip: If you decide to do the event, sign up as early as possible–it’s $95 for early entry and the price increases as you get closer to the event. I can’t say for sure whether I’ll do the event again, but I feel like I got my money’s worth.

Posted in Customer Experience & Reviews, Personal Essays | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments »

X Factor vs. The Voice

October 1, 2012 by bobbycalise

By Danny Calise, Guest Blogger

Is Trevor Moran gonna make it? The cute and cuddly 13-year-old who spends his free time making “Call Me Maybe” dance videos for YouTube has just passed out! From what, you say? From being pale and resting his head on his mom’s lap too long! But does he have the X Factor? Find out on this weeks episode!

As it turned out, the cure for Trevor’s condition (being “overly excited”) was some water and Gatorade©. Finally, after some prompting, Trevor was able to open his eyes (Thank God©!) and the Morans contemplated whether or not he should perform, as a Pepsi machine sat in the background like a supportive older brother. Trevor decided to perform, and boy did he ever! The little cherub was reminiscent of a 13-year-old Elton John, sashaying and wiggling while performing pop standard “Sexy And I Know It.” He sold the spoken word/singing so well that the audience didn’t flinch when he brazenly fibbed “I work out.” Does Trevor have a passion for music? Who cares! He has a passion in his…Oh, right. That’s not “age-appropriate.” The judges’ feedback for Trevor: Demi Lovato – “I was dying, you were too cute.”  Britney Spears – “I like you a lot, you were adorable.” Simon Cowell “I think you’re gonna be remembered for that performance.” LA Reid – “You rocked the house.”

Do the judges ever express any feedback that the audience couldn’t have come up with themselves? Now why would the audience want to learn anything about music on the #1 show on television, when they can learn about who Demi Lovato is currently dating (you’ll have to forgive me, I forgot who), AND pick up a few mean-spirited insults to hurl at foreigners with mental deficiencies, or the actors that play them on TV (“If they ever re-make the film, [Titanic], you could replace the iceberg…It wasn’t a compliment.” – Simon Cowell). The judges’ comments are so heavily edited that it is impossible to learn any musical jargon other than “stage presence” (a favorite of Ms. Lovato’s), “too cute,” and “really good” (a favorite of all of the judges). So what exactly is the point of X Factor?

Perhaps the most bizarre moment on X Factor this week was the rise and fall (and rise) of Tara Simon. We first met her when she was enviously gossiping with another contestant that Gene Simmons’ daughter was also auditioning. As a die hard Factor-head, my brain has been taught that if a contestant is talking smack backstage (it’s strangely convenient that they are always mic’d), he/she is going to be supremely confident and utterly talentless in his/her performance. Going into a commercial break, during the “Coming Up Next” segment, Tara was seen doing pushups backstage (and being mocked for it by an elementary schooler), telling the judges she wanted to be in one of their chairs (how dare she!), and screaming like a raving lunatic. Oh baby!  My hands were sliding up and down on each other like I was about to bite into a juicy steak. These judges are going to rip this girl an entirely new one!

Back from the commercial break, Tara is still doing push-ups, this time with a reasonable explanation for it that the elementary schooler doesn’t understand, prompting the audience at home to think, “I don’t understand what she’s talking about and neither does the little girl. This woman must be nuts!” After a couple of pointed questions from the judges and a cowardly shot at Christina Aguilera from LA Reid, Simon tells her to “Shut up” and Tara is ready to sing. She starts off singing some low notes and pronounces the word “you” strangely, causing some baffled looks from the 14-year-old girls in the audience. A clear sign of a loser. But a few lines later she’s still going, with no “boos,” and as her notes rise higher, so does her approval rating from the audience, the judges, and the viewers at home. Her song finishes with a triumphant applause, tears of joy flowing from her eyes, the judges smitten, and a full 180-degree turn completed. It was like watching Hulk Hogan joining the NWO. Who saw it coming? Not I.

Tara was used and abused in one segment for her ability to fit the mold of what X Factor deems its “crazy” contestants, but then changed teams and joined the “really good” singers in the next segment. I confused. Perhaps there are no hard and fast rules of X Factor. But here are some anyway:

Rule #1 of X Factor – Every “maybe” is a “yes.”
Rule #2 of X Factor – If someone has a weird voice, they should not be treated as a reasonable human being.
Rule #3 of X Factor – When LA Reid nods while watching a white hip hop/soul/r&b artist, the whole black community has accepted him/her.
Rule #4 of X Factor – All good singers are 9’s or better looks-wise (Sole exception: 500 pound minister, frontrunner for winner of the whole competition!).
Rule #5 of X Factor – Each week, Britney must show at least as much cleavage as Christina Aguilera does on The Voice.
Rule #6 of X Factor – Demi Lovato has nothing interesting to say.
Rule #7 of X Factor – This rule sponsored by Pepsi.

So what are we supposed to do?  Not watch the #1 show on television? Unreasonable. My suggestion: complement your viewing of X Factor with its much better rival, The Voice.

The Voice is a show that focuses on quality contestants, their stories, and of course, their voices. The judges work to help those singers in need of advice, not invite terrible singers to the stage to be ridiculed. The Voice specializes in “last chances,” and stories of struggle. At the end of the story segments, we hear the contestants sing for the judges, and we at home are able to judge for ourselves. Cee Lo Green often pushes his button for artists that no other judge is interested in. There are differing opinions. X Factor sets its viewers up for a binary response, yes or no, while The Voice allows for some breathing room when judging a singer. “What can I do better?” one contestant on The Voice asked after no chairs had turned around, while a rejected contestant from X Factor is seen lying on the floor sobbing, begging for a yes from the judges.

The purpose of The Voice, as I understood it from Season 1, was to have contestants judged based solely on their voices, as opposed to whether or not they had an intangible “something,” so vague that the only way to know whether or not someone has it is to find out from the judges. Despite being just a ploy to separate itself and take market share from other leading shows like it, it actually IS doing what it promised in that it’s evaluating a person by their voice (and their back story, which is an extension of their voice) rather than their looks.  What does it take to be an American Idol? Ask Randy Jackson. What does it take to be The Voice? A great voice.

So what does the viewer learn from The Voice? We learn that the judges care about which contestants they have on their team. We learn that the music business is fluid and that artists can come back from nearly anything. Artists can transcend genre and impress a judge from any corner of the music world.

What does the viewer learn from X Factor? That it’s cool to wear clown makeup and laugh at people who are different from you. And that it pays MILLIONS.

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39 Years Later, Huntington’s Cinema Arts Centre Still Bringing ‘Art House’ Experience to Long Island

August 30, 2012 by bobbycalise

The movies is a term that’s generally associated with long lines on Friday and Saturday nights at multiplexes and megaplexes, big-budget summer blockbusters, and giant tubs of butter-doused popcorn. But for the subculture of so-called “art house” moviegoers, which eschews nearly all of those things (save for, perhaps, the popcorn) the movies means something entirely different. This other type of moviegoer isn’t there for big explosions or surround sound; no, they just want to be told a compelling story and will often go to great lengths to find one.

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If you weren’t looking for the Cinema Arts Centre, you might never notice it. Tucked away on the suburban side streets of Huntington, Long Island, the single-level building looks like it might be a library or a community center or maybe a day care facility–anything but a movie theater.

In 1973 two film-loving ex-Manhattanites, Vic Skolnick and Charlotte Sky, started their New Community Cinema–which later became the Cinema Arts Centre–with little more than a projector borrowed from the public library and a bed sheet hung on the wall of a friend’s dance studio.

“It’s hard to picture how little was going on in the suburbs,” says Dylan Skolnick, CAC co-director and son of Vic and Charlotte, about Long Island in the 1970s. “Here was chain theaters with new movies, that was it. No cable, no DVDs, no VHS. Just The Late Show on TV. Instead of grumbling and being miserable, they started showing movies.”

The Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington, Long Island. (Photo courtesy of petrocelliinc.com).

Ginger Polisner and her husband Stuart, who sponsor two annual events at the theater, have been CAC members for over 30 years. “We had seen a small ad somewhere and we were looking for something different to do,” says Mrs. Polisner, recounting the first time they attended one of Vic and Charlotte’s film nights. “We watched a film about freedom fighters. The film kept breaking, so everyone would huddle over a fire escape, smoke cigarettes, and wait for them to fix the film. The bed sheet would move, the subtitles weren’t legible. [Afterwards] we looked at one another and said, ‘I don’t know what they put in the water, but we gotta go back to that place.’”

Today, with 8,000 members, the CAC is a long way from bed sheets and borrowed equipment. Originally “membership” entailed a suggested donation of $1 to help rent the following week’s film reel; a CAC membership now costs $55 annually and includes discounted tickets ($6 versus the non-member price of $11). For their part, the CAC–a nonprofit organization–gets cash up front to pour back into the theater.

“When you come to see Moonrise Kingdom, 50% of every dollar goes to Focus Features–we  only get to keep half,” says Skolnick. “When you buy a membership, it’s all ours to use on the many, many bills and expenses we have.” But membership fees are not just about paying the bills, says Skolnick. “We want people to feel that when they become a member, that they’re a part of our cinema family and they have involvement and feel like it’s their place.”

Though movie theaters large and small must give a large chunk of their ticket sales back to the studios, they get to keep their earnings from concessions sales. This is why moviegoers see such huge markups on items like soda, candy and popcorn at most chain movie theaters. But the CAC even does its food a little differently. Sure, they sell popcorn–organic popcorn–but their menu also includes soups, salads, wraps, and even quiche. By way of movie “candy,” they offer a variety of gourmet-style pastries and snacks. The CAC also has an intriguing weekday special: for $28, filmgoers get lunch, a movie, and a post-screening discussion with Charlotte and Dylan.

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As you might guess, an art house theater like the CAC tends to skew older in terms of demographics. “The older audience is undervalued,” says Skolnick. “The younger audience might have a lot of other things they might be doing. They’re fickle.”

One attempt to expand its audience base is the CAC’s Youth Advisory Board, a project designed to engage a young film fans in the community thorough a special film series. Board members will help program the films, promote events, and fundraise.  The CAC also participates in the Summer Camp Cinema Series, which features cult classic double features during summer Friday nights such as The Matrix and Inception, to draw a younger crowd to the theater.

Jacob Stebel, 30, has been a large part of the CAC’s youth movement. Stebel has worked full-time for the CAC since he was 23, and had been a patron before that since age 15. An amateur filmmaker himself, Stebel even premiered his own film, Freaks Nerds and Romantics, at the CAC in 2010. “Vic Skolnick … gave us advice all the way through,” says Stebel about the late CAC co-founder, who passed away in June 2010. “The cinema is a fantastic resource for filmmakers. Our [theater] directors have seen more films than anyone you’ve ever met. Who better to critique your film?”

The CAC has seen many talented and notable filmmakers and actors pass through its doors over the years, from Ang Lee to Spike Lee, Carol Burnett, Steve Buscemi and Tony Shalhoub. “That’s the ace up our sleeve,” says Stebel, who believes events like these, for which someone associated with the film is invited to speak, can draw a broader audience to the theater and add value beyond just the film itself.

“I always say [the CAC] is the place my parents thought they sent me to get a college degree,” says Mrs. Polisner about the education she’s received from the theater over the years. “[College] didn’t prepare me for life the way the Cinema has. Every side of political issues, economic, environmental. Speakers from all over the world, all walks of life, actors, filmmakers, musicians, anthropologists, scientists, the Tuskegee airmen before anyone knew about them.”

—

Despite a loyal following and a slew of famous friends, running this or any independent theater in 2012 is not without its challenges. As movie studios are on the brink of moving exclusively to digital prints–meaning no more physical film reels–smaller theaters without the resources to upgrade to digital projectors may start to disappear.

Digital projectors, according to Skolnick, run about $70,000 apiece–meaning it would cost about $200,000 in total to upgrade his three auditoriums. “It’s unfortunate. Technology changes, the world changes. You have to move forward,” says Skolnick. On its website, the CAC has launched the Digital Cinema Campaign in an effort to raise money for its new projectors with donations from the community. (At this writing, the CAC has collected about $60,000 in donations.)

That fundraising campaign may be bittersweet for some of the long-time members like the Polisners when it comes to exposing the hidden gem they’ve enjoyed for so many years. “The Cinema is still a secret that we both want to share and guard jealously,” says Mrs. Polisner.

Still, Skolnick seems confident that the CAC is staying put, no matter what challenges it may face. “I think we’re gonna be alright.”

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Did You Hear Who Won Gold at the Olympics? Well, Keep It to Yourself.

August 8, 2012 by bobbycalise

When my fiancee’s father, a superfan of the great tennis player Roger Federer, found himself traveling on his way back from a vacation on the Sunday of this year’s men’s Wimbledon championship match, he set out to do the impossible: avoid the match results until he arrived home and could watch it on his DVR.

Federer was playing in that final against Scottish hopeful Andy Murray, a highly anticipated match which, if Federer won, would improbably launch him back to the #1 ranking for the first time in two years. (If Murray won, it would mark his first major title and the first time a British male had won Wimbledon since 1936.)

My fiancee’s dad only made it as far as his plane change in Dallas before accidentally gleaning the result from a TV in the waiting area that was tuned to the news. Though I knew he’d have no real chance to avoid the score for an entire day, I still felt his pain. It wasn’t all that long ago that people relied on the next morning’s newspaper to tell them everything that happened since, well, the previous morning’s newspaper. Of course the internet changed the immediacy with which we receive news forever which is, generally speaking, a good thing. But when it comes to sports, and in particular, the Olympics, I find myself in the same boat as my future father-in-law, meaning I’m looking for less news.

The Summer and Winter Olympics only come around every four years, respectively, and the fact that most of the sports they include are scarcely televised or talked about other than during the Olympics. You couldn’t pay most Americans to watch gymnastics in an odd year but come the Summer Olympics they fall in love with their favorite American gymnast who, just moments earlier, they didn’t know existed. The same goes for the media-fueled rivalries like Phelps versus Lochte that no one was paying attention for the past few years.

Last week while on vacation, I found myself checking Twitter on my iPhone. Twitter has become my #1 news source, customized with the types of updates I want based on the people I follow–all 971 of them. I suppose it was naive of me to think that once there, all 971 people would keep it a secret who won that day’s swimming events, and that I’d get to watch it on tape delay later that night without knowing the results ahead of time. (Media outlets like ESPN, for that matter, had no motivation to keep it a secret and let competing network NBC rack up the ratings if it could spoil the results for would-be viewers.)

With modern television the way it is, where a large chunk of the best content is time-shifted with DVRs and online video streaming, we’re at the point where “appointment viewing” and the next morning’s water cooler conversations have all but disappeared. As a result, it seems to me that sports–particularly those that we only get to see every four years–might be the last remaining and most purest form of drama on TV.

I’ve watched most of these Summer Olympics without the word “LIVE” in the top right corner of my TV screen. In fact, as I write this I’m awaiting the start of the women’s beach volleyball gold medal match, featuring legendary pair Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings. The match started about five hours ago in London and probably ended while I was wrapping up my workday. But I don’t know the result because I’ve avoided the internet all day in search of a genuine fan experience. The internet has brought me more information than I could ever hope to retain, but tonight, ignorance is bliss.

Posted in Personal Essays | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments »

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