The following post is based on an email I got from my good friend and fellow Death Cab For Cutie fan, Nikki (she’s appeared previously on the blog, in my “Pearl Harbor” post). I’ve blogged about Death Cab before, including a review of the first time I saw them live (which was awesome) and the second time (which got awkward). Nikki recently saw Death Cab’s frontman, Ben Gibbard, perform a solo show in Boston. This is her account of that night.
The concert itself was pretty awesome–it was in an old movie theater in my neighborhood. He performed a full set all solo and all acoustic–just him and a guitar and a piano. He played a mix of the new solo stuff and DCFC and Postal Service songs. His second song was “Such Great Heights” and at that point I could only think about how stupid Zooey Deschanel is.
So, the show ended and [my fiancé] John suggested we see if we can get his autograph because it was such a small venue and he seemed like a nice guy who enjoys these smaller shows. We walked around the back of the building and his tour bus was sitting there, so we decided to hang out a bit to see if he’d appear. Within a few minutes, about 15-20 people with Sharpies and tickets and posters gathered around with us. The guy manning the back door to the theater told us that Ben walked off the stage and booked it to his tour bus. Not giving up hope yet, we all hung around as we saw people going in and out of the tour bus (yes, with cases of O’Doul’s and Gatorade).
Without realizing it, about an hour had passed. The bus was still there idling even after the two equipment trucks drove off and everyone still kept thinking “Ben seems like such a nice guy, if he sees us standing here he’ll totally come out.” Around the hour mark people started walking away slowly, constantly looking back to see if he’d appear (two girls even came back for a drive by 20 minutes after they left). When we left about an hour and 45 minutes after the show ended there were only four people left (interestingly enough three of the four were dudes) still holding out hope that Ben would not disappoint. He comes off as such a nice guy–it’s hard for any of us standing out there to think he would purposely ignore us.
So here’s what has been going through my mind:
- Should I be upset/disappointed in Ben Gibbard for not meeting fans and signing autographs? Should I let it ruin an otherwise awesome show? If he is actually a douche, should it change my decision about going to future shows or calling DCFC one of my favorite bands?
- When I realized my feet were going numb from the cold I turned to John and told him all I hear in my head is Sonny from A Bronx Tale talking about Mickey Mantle.
- As annoying as it was, we did have fun joking around with the other fans and didn’t realize how much time had actually passed. It was especially funny talking to all the guys standing out there by themselves waiting for a bromance to blossom.
- Wouldn’t it be funny to find out he was never in the bus but actually at one of the bars down the street?
Anyway…just a lot of reflection on expectations of celebrities. There are many celebrities I would never expect to engage fans and be fine with that but for some reason I thought Ben Gibbard would. Just before we walked away John made one last attempt to get his attention by tweeting him to come out and stop making us wait in the cold which was accompanied by a picture of me outside the bus giving a thumbs down and pouting. Too much? Ben did not acknowledge the tweet…
And yes, we acknowledge that waiting outside the tour bus was slightly stalker-ish.
Sounds like he’s just really self-absorbed. Not acknowledging the tweet? Lame. The fact that it was 3 dudes left in the end? Weird.
Mr. Gibb is gonna be a famous singer/songwriter for the rest of his life. It’s like Dawson Leery famously said to a hack director who fired him moments later, “Somebody gave you the keys to the kingdom and you’re blowing it.” Ben already lost the hottest chick in the game. What’s left for him to lose?
This very same thing happened to me twice during that same tour. I’m from Baltimore, MD & my bf & I took a bus to NYC & booked a hotel room so we could see Ben perform. My bf was a good sport about it considering my 10yr long crush on Ben. The show was absolutely amazing. One of the best I had ever been to. Ben came off as so genuine & sincere. Afterwards, me bf & I waited outside of the venue with about 10 other people in the freezing cold for upwards of an hour & 45mins waiting for Ben. Slowly people started to walk away, until there was really on 4 of us left. A van pulled up about 10ft away from us & we started walking towards it, only to see Ben rush out of the venue & hop right in, followed by 4-5 other guys & then the van took off. We were all crushed. I was hoping that we would have better luck 3 days later when we saw him in DC. Sadly, it was the same story. This show was even better than the first. He had amazing crowd interaction (he even playfully acknowledged a comment I shouted out in between songs, so I was glowing.) After the show, we walked around back & waited for about 30-45mins before a guy who worked at the venue asked us if we were waiting for Ben & then let us know that he left immediately after the show. Its really really disappointing because, especially as a long time fan, you do look up to your favorite musicians & you want to believe that they are humble, greatful people. But regardless how talented they might be, its really a slap in the face to fans when they can’t even take 5 mins to acknowledge the people who made them famous to begin with. Talent & hard work only get you so far. If no one is buying your music or coming to your shows, you basically have a glorified hobby. Unfortunately, I think a few artists, Ben included, need to be reminded of that.
It sounds like Ben (and probably lots of other artists) make a habit of exiting quickly after a show, which is kind of a bummer. I’d like to think it’s one of those things us “commoners” can’t understand, that performing a show for thousands of loyal fans emotionally and physically drains a person, and there’s not much left at the end to share with the “true fans” who wait after the show.
Considering how well Ben understands the human condition–at least it seems that way in his songs–his actions are surprising and disappointing. Still, even if “my favorite musician is a jerk,” I’ll happily trade a few bruised fans’ egos (including my own) for the catalog of songs Ben has provided us with over the years.
But with that said, Ben, if you’re reading this, we just want to know why!!!
Same here with the Postal Service tour. I love Ben Gibbard and the Postal Service to the extent that I dropped hundreds of dollars to buy all their merchandise. I happened to go to their show in Minnesota to see them live front row and all but I didn’t think to wait for Ben and the rest of TPS as I was with my girlfriend and I booked a room for the night ;). Any who I’m from Chicago and they performed at Lollapalooza and an after show. I also listened to their last performance in history on the radio live in front of the venue they were performing at, I also happened to get a flat tire while wearing a TPS shirt. As I was replacing my tire I happened to listen to the entire performance and I walked across the street where the venue was located, I saw his tour bus in front!! I waited an hour in front of the bus and security pushed me and 5 other people back. I screamed Ben and the TPS walked right into the bus. The crowed quickly walked away and I was the only one there Jenny saw me alone wink and a peace sign as they were driving away. I got everything on video. Either way Ben is still my favorite musician of all time even if he is a douche.
In August of 2010 I saw him and Jay Farrar play a *very* intimate set at the Henry Miller Library in Big Sur. It’s really less of a library, and more of a tiny wood cabin in the middle of nowhere – there’s no green rooms or nooks or places to hide, really. I brought a vinyl of the music him and Jay recorded for the show/documentary (One Fast Move or I’m Gone) hoping for a signature..knowing it’d be awesome to at least shake the hand of one of my favorite musicians, possibly even have him sign something that I could frame at home. Well, immediately after the set, they began the documentary…and he was gone. Like, incognito, jumped in a car that was waiting on the side of the road next to the library, gone. I was pretty dissapointed, but, I don’t have any qualms against the guy. He just seems like a quiet, simple dude from Washington. Probably really loves his privacy and solitude, and doesn’t want a bunch of clamoring fans in horn-rimmed glasses getting in his face. I guess I’d be the same way.. Still, I get what you mean about thinking that the guy would be really down to earth and want to connect with his fans – since all of us seem to really connect intimately with the music that he makes. It’d be nice to just talk ‘shop’ with the guy about music and what-not.